Do I really trust God?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. - Proverbs 3:5-8

The following excerpt is from the book Finding God by Dr. Larry Crabb. I encourage you to read through the text three times, pausing each time to write down a word, thought, or phrase that resonated with you while reading.

Instead of feeling horrified at my impudence toward God, I sometimes feel smug, wondering how God might choose to defend himself against my well-supported charges that challenge his claim to goodness.

I'm not the first to feel this way. After Job endured more suffering than I'll ever know, he said:

If only I knew where to find him...
I would state my case before Him
and fill my mouth with arguments.
I would find out what he would answer me,
And consider what he would say. - Job 23:3-5

In the middle of his suffering, when all happy passions were smothered by grief, something came alive within Job as he courted the idea of challenging God. Nothing more closely masquerades as true vitality than arrogance, and arrogance keeps us from giving ourselves to God in desperate, grateful humility. Perhaps that is why God hates pride above every other sin.

It is the fallen structure within the soul of every man and woman that delights in challenging God because doing so creates a powerful sense of identity. This evil structure begins with the idea that perhaps God is not good enough to be fully trusted and that we are therefore justified in looking out for ourselves.

What happens when we doubt God's goodness, when the trials of life strengthen our doubts to the point where trusting him seems like madness? Is it then that self-trust appears entirely reasonable; it seems right, but it leads to death. We become convinced that we might make up for God's deficient involvement in our lives by taking care of a few things on our own.

There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death. - Proverbs 14:12

Sin may be thought of as our effort to supplement what we believe are limits to God's goodness. It is trusting our self instead of trusting God.

Until we see Christ fully, we will in some measure try to preserve, protect, and develop that fragile thing we call the self, that sense of who we are that longs to enjoy love, respect, and meaning. Until our tendency to evaluate God by what we see is exposed and weakened, we will continue looking for ourselves with all our heart and soul. The result is that we will never find God.

You know you're finding God when you believe that God is good no matter what happens.
Or, in other words:
Finding God is developing, through Christ, an unshakable confidence in God's absolute goodness and perfect love no matter what we may experience in this life.

Feed what you want to grow,
Starve what you want to die.

Be Encouraged to starve self and feed your trust in the Omniscient, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Sovereign, Immutable God of all creation by reading His Word every day and praying without ceasing.

-Jeffrey Thornton